It has been a little while since I have posted and have much updating to do. Yesterday around 4:00 in the morning, Adam and I lost our baby. It is so hard to tell people what has happened, so I apologize if you are reading this rather than hearing from us. Please know that we love you.
I have cherished several things over the last 24 hours. I am so thankful to God, for sending his Son to die for our sweet little child. Before we knew that we had miscarried, Adam and I prayed that he (we named him Sam) would come to know the Lord at an early age. Our prayers were heard and answered. I am thankful that Jesus loves his children and that he has welcomed Sam home. I prayed last night as I was trying to fall asleep, that the Lord would allow Mom to rock Sam to sleep for us. We miss him terribly but are comforted knowing that the Lord who created his small little body, holds him in the palm of his hand. Who better to care for your child? All of his days were ordained and now he sits with his heavenly Father for eternity.
My sweet friend brought us dinner last night, with the most beautiful off white and pink rose, and the following poem:
Precious Little One
Precious, tiny little one
You'll always be to me
So perfect, pure and innocent-
Part of Heaven's family.
We dreamed of you and your life
And all that it would be
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family.
We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle,
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle.
I'll always be your mother,
He'll always be your dad,
You will always be our child,
The child that we had.
Just know our love goes deep and strong,
We'll forget you never-
The child we had but never had,
And yet will have forever.
Yesterday my dear father in law quoted Psalm 139 to me in the parking lot of Chick-fil-A. "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."(v.16)
We had one ultrasound that we saw his little heart beating 154 beats per minute. We loved seeing him and that was the last time I had seen him until today when my husband came home with a cd in his hand. He said "I got the pictures of Sam." There is a video on there that shows his beating heart and his body moving around in my womb. I am so thankful for these pictures and cherish them. I could not have married a more wonderful man and I will NEVER be able to express my love for him in a way that could ever show him how much I truly love him. I have been so incredibly blessed.
Please pray for us as we grieve for our first baby. We love him and pray that fear will not rob us of our joy in trying again.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
6 weeks and 1 day
Today I am six weeks and 1 day! I feel great and am truly enjoying this experience! I have craved Qdoba Mexican Restaurant SO badly!!! (Poor Adam, we have been there almost everyday!) The baby is the size of a lentil and nose, mouth and ears are taking shape. His or her arm and leg buds are forming as well. The heart is beating 100-160 times a minute!
Elton John's "Blessed"
Hey you, you're a child in my head
You haven't walked yet
Your first words have yet to be said
But I swear you'll be blessed
I know you're still just a dream
your eyes might be green
Or the bluest that I've ever seen
Anyway you'll be blessed
And you, you'll be blessed
You'll have the best
I promise you that
I'll pick a star from the sky
Pull your name from a hat
I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that
You'll be blessed
I need you before I'm too old
To have and to hold
To walk with you and watch you grow
And know that you're blessed
You haven't walked yet
Your first words have yet to be said
But I swear you'll be blessed
I know you're still just a dream
your eyes might be green
Or the bluest that I've ever seen
Anyway you'll be blessed
And you, you'll be blessed
You'll have the best
I promise you that
I'll pick a star from the sky
Pull your name from a hat
I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that
You'll be blessed
I need you before I'm too old
To have and to hold
To walk with you and watch you grow
And know that you're blessed
The First Blog Entry!
Welcome to the Pearson Family blog!
I look forward to giving you all glimpses of our life!
Psalm 30:4-5 Sing to the Lord, you saints of his; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Looking back on the last few years of my life, I am continually reminded of the goodness of God. When Mom passed away almost 4 years ago, I can remember literally feeling like part of me was gone. I graduated from Nursing school and then met the love of my life. Adam is the most wonderful man. He is beyond what I ever asked of the Lord. I continue to be amazed that the Lord would give me such a man as he. The best day of my life was the day that I married him, September 26, 2009. I will never forget the feeling I had that day- I didn't care what happened except that I was marrying the one whom I love and want to spend my life with- forever! We bought a house and settled into our new life.
Fast forward 9 months to July 21, 2010......
I took a pregnancy test at home, which as usual, showed one strong pink line. After telling Adam "Nope" I begin washing my hands and glance down again, only to find the sweetest second pink line.
Ps 139:1-18
O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make a bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will hold me fast. If I say, "surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.
I look forward to giving you all glimpses of our life!
Psalm 30:4-5 Sing to the Lord, you saints of his; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Looking back on the last few years of my life, I am continually reminded of the goodness of God. When Mom passed away almost 4 years ago, I can remember literally feeling like part of me was gone. I graduated from Nursing school and then met the love of my life. Adam is the most wonderful man. He is beyond what I ever asked of the Lord. I continue to be amazed that the Lord would give me such a man as he. The best day of my life was the day that I married him, September 26, 2009. I will never forget the feeling I had that day- I didn't care what happened except that I was marrying the one whom I love and want to spend my life with- forever! We bought a house and settled into our new life.
Fast forward 9 months to July 21, 2010......
I took a pregnancy test at home, which as usual, showed one strong pink line. After telling Adam "Nope" I begin washing my hands and glance down again, only to find the sweetest second pink line.
Ps 139:1-18
O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make a bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will hold me fast. If I say, "surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.
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