Precious Little One

It has been a little while since I have posted and have much updating to do.  Yesterday around 4:00 in the morning, Adam and I lost our baby.  It is so hard to tell people what has happened, so I apologize if you are reading this rather than hearing from us.  Please know that we love you.

I have cherished several things over the last 24 hours.  I am so thankful to God, for sending his Son to die for our sweet little child. Before we knew that we had miscarried, Adam and I  prayed that he (we named him Sam) would come to know the Lord at an early age.  Our prayers were heard and answered.  I am thankful that Jesus loves his children and that he has welcomed Sam home.  I prayed last night as I was trying to fall asleep, that the Lord would allow Mom to rock Sam to sleep  for us. We miss him terribly but are comforted knowing that the Lord who created his small little body, holds him in the palm of his hand.  Who better to care for your child?  All of his days were ordained and now he sits with his heavenly Father for eternity. 

My sweet friend brought us dinner last night, with the most beautiful off white and pink rose, and the following poem:

Precious Little One

Precious, tiny little one
You'll always be to me
So perfect, pure and innocent-
Part of Heaven's family.

We dreamed of you and your life
And all that it would be
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family.

We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle,
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle.

I'll always be your mother,
He'll always be your dad,
You will always be our child,
The child that we had.

Just know our love goes deep and strong,
We'll forget you never-
The child we had but never had,
And yet will have forever.


Yesterday my dear father in law quoted Psalm 139 to me in the parking lot of Chick-fil-A.  "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."(v.16)

We had one ultrasound that we saw his little heart beating 154 beats per minute.  We loved seeing him and that was the last time I had seen him until today when my husband came home with a cd in his hand.  He said "I got the pictures of Sam."  There is  a video on there that shows his beating heart and his body moving around in my womb. I am so thankful for these pictures and cherish them.   I could not have married a more wonderful man and I will NEVER be able to express my love for him in a way that could ever show him how much I truly love him.  I have been so incredibly blessed.

Please pray for us as we grieve for our first baby.  We love him and pray that fear will not rob us of our joy in trying again.